Defector

The best all-stars are all-stars “We had to pick a guy” | dissident

Note: All Ray Ratto blogs are by definition Rays Week blogs.


The Major League Baseball All-Star is now an acknowledgment that – well, really – you’re expected to not only watch but watch Shohei Ohtani. ESPN will worship him as a god, to the point where you will learn to hate him for this very reason. The broadcast will downplay the fact that he was sentenced to push a concrete cabinet up an oil mound made entirely of rusty razor blades, meaning playing for Los Angeles Angels of Hell, but other than that you’ll learn to get sick of Ohtani just for overkill.

And when the broadcast gets tired of Ohtani, he’ll hit Aaron Judge in the face because even the sacks of wild DNA known as TV producers have a feeling that you might not want to add any more exaggeration to exaggeration.

Well, this is the wrong way to do it. What Otani and Judge do glow even brighter in the context of the regular season. Judge slaughters baseballs and shooters’ reputations as if Yankee Stadium was just a reorganized slaughterhouse where the Yankees killed Major League Baseball, and Otani makes people endure the Angels in ways they wouldn’t deal with their maimed brothers, the Sacramento Kings, Jacksonville Jaguars, Buffalo Sabers, and Norwich City.

But Judge and Ohtani have been superstars before, and they’ll be all-stars again. The best stars of all are the least likely to ever take part in the game, because they are the rarest athletes: those who are really happy to be there because they weren’t there under any other circumstances. They may not play, and Lord knows that no one is asking them to do so, especially not managers or general managers. ESPN will spend so much time mentioning it only as much as its pre-game introductions will allow, and it won’t be much noticed and not remembered at all.

Except for comrade Ruth, who is considered unforgettable by all players, and by you if you understand the true mutating beauty of all-star baseball. The requirement that each team have one star has long been considered a moral and ethical outrage by the people in the world who spend so much time worrying about Austin Rileys. These people are wrong on the point that they need prison. It’s a great idea because it makes teaming a little more difficult and more fun. You know who the beginners are. The reserves are where the fun is.

The truth is, All-Star Games is all about getting a name for the team rather than actually playing the game. You get rewarded for being named whether you play or not – otherwise, the Pro Bowl is just an OTA with better weather.

So here’s David Bednar of the Pittsburgh Pirates, who’s had an excellent year for a team that hasn’t closed very much. and Joe Manteble, who does something for the Arizona Diamondbacks. and Luis Castillo, Martin Perez, Paul Blackburn, Andrew Benintende and Jorge Lopez, who may have made the team on their own merits, but got involved mostly because the Reds needed a man, and so did the Rangers, A, Royals and Orioles.

There are others, of course, like CJ Cron (Rockies), Julio Rodriguez (Mariners), Juan Soto (Nationals), Sandy Alcantara (Marlins), Shane McClanahan (RAYS!), and Corbin Burnes (Brewers), but they would have made the team anyway. Especially Rodriguez. It’s exactly what All-Star Games are all about: new guys making their bones.

But it’s the guys who stoop down the directors’ lists who get the best excitement — for them, it’s Christmas in July. We want Bednar to face one hitter – perhaps Ohtani. In fact, we want one round where all these guys play against each other, so why the hell not? It doesn’t ruin your day, it makes theirs. I mean, you can see Shohei Ohtani every single day of the entire season, so the nonsense about his burial in Anaheim is ridiculous. Simply buy an MLB package, whip up some coveted kale, or whatever you want to do. You’ll get the Utani until your eyelids drop into your soup.

I, would I, ever take a Blackburn Crohn or a Mantebelly Benintende, would probably laugh so hard to see the ball clearly, and if they dared to take it seriously, they should be barred from all subsequent summer classics. We live in the hope that they will understand their place in the universe and get into the soul of the thing. Their tongues have been kissed by the good luck fairies and they will go to Los Angeles for three days on someone else’s arm. They shouldn’t spoil it by trying hard. But getting into the game is no small feat, even for Gregory Soto. will be happy. They all will. Besides, Ohtani will replay the following Friday, playing Austin Riley in the boot. Happy now reptile?

#allstars #allstars #pick #guy #dissident

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